“Let us go forward into dancing and laughter, assuming a longer and better life”
Rig-Veda

The mid-life challenge
Chapter one from 'Mid-Life Energy and Happiness' by Gill Sanson ©

Somewhere around the forty-eight to fifty year mark, many women find themselves experiencing a deep internal shift and it can stop them in their tracks. Without warning their previously predictable bodies take on off-beat primal rhythms, and emotions often follow suit. Their comfortable world appears to be disintegrating as a major life transition begins.

Change is normal — it is at the basis of all growth and evolution. It is the mechanism through which we move to new stages in life. New growth is often associated with loss of the familiar and it can bring with it fear of the unknown. By understanding the process and adapting to new ways of functioning, change becomes a mechanism for self-development.

Nature provides us with a new beginning when we pass through menopause and the mid-life transition. What can seem to be an alarming dismantling of the normal and the familiar, is in fact an enormously significant passage to a new state of wisdom and wholeness. The change in our bodies forces change in our perception. We can no longer get away with abusing our bodies through wrong eating and lack of exercise for example; neither can we indulge in an excessive lifestyle without immediate repercussions.

The mid-life transition is a gift which offers the opportunity for huge personal growth. It challenges us to ignore the pressures of a society which favours youth, and to value ourselves instead. It teaches us to confront our personal fears and renew our self-respect. It is a time to invest in our on-going good health through lifestyle adjustments, new researched therapies, and time-tested traditions. If we accept the challenge and adapt we emerge liberated from outdated cultural restrictions and the limitations of hormonal fluctuations into an exciting and fulfilling new stage of life.

In her book New Passages Gail Sheehy writes “Menopause is a biological marker that demands women recognize where they are in life… It is an initiation into Second Adulthood. Women who take the time to evaluate where they are, physically, psychologically, spiritually, are the ones who will move ahead; they’ll be more balanced and productive in their fifties and sixties.”

It is also our generation’s role to challenge outmoded attitudes to ageing, particularly the place of older women in society. Women aged 50 at the year 2,000 can expect to enjoy at least 35 years of active life after mid-life and menopause. Rather than having fulfilled their biological purpose and outlived their usefulness, these women are a powerful resource of wisdom and energy which can be directed towards correcting the mistakes of the past and making the world a nourishing environment for future generations.

Studies and experience have shown that once through the menopause transition and into their fifties, women begin to take off. Many report that they have gained an inner harmony, and a greater sense of fulfilment and well-being than at any other stage of their lives. They feel fitter and healthier too because they now give more time and attention to taking care of themselves. Anthropologist Margaret Mead, surprised by how great she felt, coined the term ‘post-menopausal zest’.

A time of liberation

Mid-life can be a journey of self discovery, a realization that valuing the self is primary, and that negative cultural attitudes are inconsequential. Women often report that they can freely express themselves at last and have acquired a liberating lack of concern for other people’s opinion of them. Some experience the emergence of new skills they didn’t know they had. Others desire to live an entirely new lifestyle. Many feel more in tune with their intuition and begin to pursue paths of self development like meditation and yoga.

Mid-life confusion

The major task is to successfully negotiate the transition through menopause — primarily by understanding it. Most of us lack education of this most significant life passage and are consequently daunted by it. It can coincide with other milestones and weighty responsibilities which may direct our attention away from our own needs. We also become aware that we are moving into the risk category for major diseases and feel uncertain what to do to avoid them.

At this time of our lives we are usually still locked in the role of caregivers to our immediate families, often with the addition of elderly failing parents. We find it difficult to make our own needs a priority. Economic pressure and looming retirement require us in many cases to be working full-time. Children usually leave home at this time which can be a big adjustment, and children leaving home and coming back again – a common phenomenon these days – is reported to be even more stressful!

Primary relationships sometimes falter now, or may have done already, and some women can find themselves alone for the first time in years. Throw menopause with its associated hormonal fluctuations into the equation and it can amount to a stressful life transition.

The invisible woman

Women often feel a deep desire for time-out and solitude at mid-life, but find themselves caught on a treadmill of responsibilities in a world that doesn’t understand. Many describe a psychological ‘low’ during their mid to late forties. Although menopause brings freedom from the influence of the monthly cycle, and relief that unwanted pregnancy is no longer a possibility, for many it raises major issues about the physical and social consequences of growing older.

“ I have always loved having birthdays and made the most of them. But this year, I turned forty seven with a sense of dread, a very real feeling that the best years were over for me. I couldn’t celebrate - I went and bought a new outfit to console myself and found it hard to look in the mirror.” Barbara is a beautiful, fit, highly intelligent woman. She has a great career, has successfully raised her children and has every reason to feel optimistic about her future.

Ours is a culture which worships youth and its associated beauty and fertility. It is common to feel quite suddenly ‘invisible’ in a world which festoons its billboards and magazines with the bodies and faces of the young.

“ I am not noticed any more, I had to assert myself to keep my place in the queue at the bank this week when some young self-absorbed executives pushed past me” said one woman. Others lament the passing of the days when they would turn heads on the street, and the ease with which they used to fall deliciously in and out of love.

The promise of eternal youth

A huge industry has built up around keeping us looking young. We are exhorted to try creams, beauty treatments, and even ‘corrective’ surgery to stave off the dreaded and unthinkable ageing process. The underlying message is a damning one — older women are not valued.

The magazine stands at the supermarket checkout tell it all:
“She is 70. Her secret revealed” (Picture of gorgeous older woman)
“Best anti-ageing diet”
“Diana’s Race Against Time”
“Do women have a use-by date?”
“The most age-defying beauty buys”

As superficial as this all may seem, it is made additionally difficult because ours has not been a culture which actively values the rich intangibles that replace youth — wisdom and experience. Previous generations of women have not automatically risen to positions in society which reflect their life experience and provide good role-modelling and a source of wisdom for the young. Women have been increasingly unemployable after the age of fifty.

Cultural attitudes to ageing and menopause

In her book Women’s bodies, Women’s Wisdom Christiane Northrup writes , “In our ageist culture, many women, instead of believing in their capacity to remain strong, attractive, and vital throughout their lives, instead come to expect their bodies and minds to deteriorate with age.” And the reverse is also the case. Not surprisingly, research shows that where the cultural expectation is to live a long life, individuals integrate that expectation and do live longer. Their bodies respond accordingly. They literally slow the ageing process to conform to cultural expectations.

Studies have shown that the psychological impact of menopause is influenced by how much a society values the older woman. Some cultures don’t even have a word in their language for menopause. In societies like Papua New Guinea where women enjoy increased status as they age and where their communities have positive attitudes to ageing and the menopause, there are few if any uncomfortable symptoms. They look forward to this time of life.

In Rajasthan in India, women who have been heavily veiled through their fertile years are able to take the veils off at menopause and are free to chat with the men in their villages. Understandably they view this new phase as immensely liberating and likewise have no difficulties at menopause. In the typical Indian household there are daughters or daughters-in-law who take over domestic responsibilities for the older woman who assumes lighter duties while she manages her way through menopause.

In a study conducted in Botswana Africa in 1990, in-depth interviews were conducted with 25 fifty-year old rural and urban women. The interviews revealed that the women viewed menopause positively. They saw it as a natural occurrence over which only God had control, a relief from menstrual bother and expenses, and freedom from unplanned pregnancy. Most interestingly and in direct contrast with the experience of the majority of Western women, most of the women experienced an increased libido or sex drive. Neither was menopause a tabu subject. The women readily sought help and information from older relatives and nurses.

Times are changing

Hearteningly, in a very recent survey of 1,000 German women aged between 50 and 70 years it was found that the biggest concern over the physical changes of ageing was not physical attractiveness, weight gain or loss of figure, but rather loss of energy and vitality. Having good health rated far higher for these women than sex appeal. It was also noted that those with the most positive attitude to ageing had the least discomfort with their menopause.

A New Zealand survey of 445 women ranging in ages from 35 - 60 years was conducted in Christchurch in 1988. The women were surveyed for happiness at mid-life by measuring their overall health, their lifestyle and their attitude to life as they grew older. The majority of women, about 90%, were very positive about their current life and their future. The percentage who were not so happy said it was mainly because of pain and discomfort due to menopause.

A women’s perception of herself influences her experience at menopause.
A recent German study found that women with good body image and self-esteem who exercised regularly (about 40 percent of the women polled) had few if any menopause symptoms.

Everyone ages differently

The ageing process is as individual as personality itself. What we present to the world is the sum total of the genetic, cultural, lifestyle, environmental, nutritional, physical and psychological influences of our lives. But it is our mental health that most influences how well we age. It is now known that people with good mental health transfer this to their bodies. Joyful, stimulated, relaxed individuals are more likely to be well and not be at risk for major illness. We are all subjected to stress in varying degrees at different times. But it is not the stress that makes us sick – it is our interpretation of it and our inability to adapt to it. Knowing this, it is possible to see why doing what you love to do, and leading a healthy lifestyle can delay, or even reverse the ageing process.

Factors which slow the ageing process

The following are factors known to slow the ageing process

• Regular meditation or relaxation
• Nutrient and anti-oxidant rich diet
• Regular exercise
• Happy marriage or long-term relationship
• Job satisfaction
• Feeling of personal happiness
• Ability to laugh easily
• Ability to make and keep close friends
• Regular daily routine
• Taking regular holidays
• Feeling in control of personal life
• Enjoying leisure time, satisfying hobbies
• Ability to express feelings easily
• Optimistic about the future
• Feeling financially secure, living within means

Chronological and biological age – what is the difference?

There can be a big difference between chronological age and biological age. Chronological age is the number of years a person has lived. Biological age is an indication of a person’s overall state of health compared to population averages. When testing biological age, standard measures of blood pressure, auditory (hearing) threshold, and near-point vision are used to compare it with chronological age.

As a hypothetical example, let’s consider two fifty-year-old women. Fleur is divorced, suffers from anxiety, smokes, feels lonely, eats poorly and takes little exercise. Marianne on the other hand is content with her personal relationships, feels healthy, exercises regularly, loves her job and her leisure activities. Because Fleur has negative influences dominating her life, her body when measured biologically, is likely to be close to 10 years older and will be ageing quickly. Marianne on the other hand will be physically fit and could have the biological age of a woman at least 5 years younger.

A fundamental factor in the ageing process is wear and tear from stress and chronic fatigue. Nature’s healing mechanism is rest. Many of us fail to achieve a healthy daily balance of rest and activity, neither do we deliberately structure effective relaxation strategies into our day. Providing the mind and body with regular deep rest automatically restores a normal natural state of balance.

The healing effect of profoundly deep rest has been verified by extensive research into the simple technique of Transcendental Meditation (or TM). Studies have revealed that individuals who have been practicing the technique twenty minutes twice a day for 5 or more years use hospital services 50% less and have an average biological age 12 years younger than their chronological age. A finding that particularly impressed the team of researchers was that older people showed results that were as good as younger people. That means a typical 60 year old meditating five years or more, would have the physiology of a 48-year-old.

Nutritional magic

Meeting our daily nutritional requirements is essential. Japanese women have the highest life expectancy in the world and their longevity is linked to their diet. It is now believed that the main reason for their low incidence of breast cancer, heart disease and hip fractures is their low fat, high fibre diet rich in minerals, vitamins, anti-oxidants and plant (phyto)hormones. They consume an abundance of fresh fruit and vegetables, legumes and whole grains and seafood. Ancient traditional herbs and treatments have an important role. Ginseng for example has been used for over 4,000 years for anti-aging, infertility and impotence.

There is much literature and new thinking regarding the effects of free-radical damage on the ageing process. It is now believed that free radicals are responsible for over 100 diseases of the human body, and that if their activity can be neutralised or restrained, we will remain healthy and enjoy a full life for much longer. Although the body produces its own antioxidants, they are not sufficient to combat the onslaught of free radicals created by the 1990s environment. Antioxidants are found in plants and enter our bodies via food. Not surprisingly, fruit and vegetables are the richest source.

How much we eat is important too. We now know that by eating less each day and only eating when we are hungry, that we can slow the ageing process considerably. Animal studies have shown that restricting the diet of rodents leads to a 30 percent increase in life span. The islanders on Okinawa in Japan have more citizens over age 100 than any other population. They eat 17 – 40 percent fewer calories than other Japanese, and have 30 – 40 percent less heart disease, stroke, cancer, diabetes, and age related disease.

Revolution

Thankfully, a change is taking place in our culture. A new revolution is afoot, and it is powered by the knowledge that we have control of our health and our destiny, and that the secrets for a long and healthy life are simple ones that have always existed in nature. Our vision of possibilities has shifted to include the wisdom of ancient traditions in conjunction with modern medicine, and the powerful effects of meditation, regular exercise, a nutritionally complete diet, and an avoidance of the hazards of the environment.